Jumping into teaching the first Monday afternoon was unlike anything I have ever experienced. The energy was totally electric, as if there was some current zapping around between
the Khmer teachers, our group, and the quickly arriving wave of students. It reminded me of my first day at school growing up – eagerness mixed with anxiety, mixed with laughable assumptions that the year holds in store for you once hindsight is applied.
Shaking away any insecurity I could see the genuine craving each student had to capture anything and everything I could offer them, I could see it in the demeanour of the students and I knew for certain I wanted to reciprocate their craving for education by providing them with meaningful, fun lessons that would continue to perpetuate their devotion to education long after I left. It was no longer an idea we have talked about, it was real life in real time in a real situation and I felt it empowered me to really present and commit, not only educationally but emotionally.
Though those first day lessons could be described as me feeling a little scrambled as we used our energy trying to figure out the best activity, it was incredibly important and we accomplished a great deal. I feel that first day benefited us more than the students, in the sense that inspired and mobilized us to want to be better for them. Now, however I realise the ‘unprepared’ factor of that first day is what motivated and tied me emotionally to helping those kids and their amazingly passionate teachers improve.
As mentioned earlier, first days are filled with assumptions about what is in store and when you look back you realise you could never assume what really did happen and how it changed you. This experience of teaching has been unforgettable and has changed my sense of commitment and sensitivity for the better. Never before have I wanted desperately to truly be able to connect and affect another person and now I had over 80 people I wished to do this with.
The kids taught me so much, how incredibly human it is to love and how unique and it is to be happy in the way they are: unfiltered through anything material, some way of ‘being’that truly emulates from their very being alive. Their sensitivity towards each other is profound: they use their community to aid and empower each other rather than their individuality to defeat each other; a true model for the world stage of co-operation versus conquering.
Another vital thing these children taught me through my experience of teaching is to wear your heart on your sleeve. Too often I find myself as my own obstacle out of fear of some sort of embarrassment. Now I hope to rid my mind of this social construction I can find myself victim to. They learn and crave to learn because they can transcend that fear. They care so deeply, love so vibrantly, and feel and interact in such ecstasy because they can transcend this fear and just be themselves and supported by their peers.
I will always cherish my time with the children, teaching and being taught myself. I could never have anticipated that out of the beautiful chaos that can exist in Cambodia could rise such a spectacular and impactful experience in every-way. WELL THAT’S THE CAMBODIAN WAY!! 😉
Kaylena Katz
